a few friends I dont have

Two weeks ago now (two weeks!!) the postie left an envelope which turned out to contain poetry - not the everyday yawning kind, but some delighfully subversive greetings cards, bearing legends such as`Andy Warhol is not your friend`. I was immediately happy about this ...



Here`s the opening of `Ad Reinhart is not your friend`:

"The point is that thinking about black

all day long will only get you depressed

or turn you into a goth. ..."



Of course, if you used to be a goth but got over it, thinking about black all day long could turn you back into one again. The authors of the poems inside were Rupert M. Loydell and Peter Gillies. Further investigation (an E-mail to R.M.L.) revealed there are quite a few of these poems which will no doubt soon be available in book form. Though I rather liked the idea of them as cards. Witty; elegant.



The A38 is not your friend, or mine. But for some reason it has, tucked away by the side of its oppressively long body, let`s say under its armpit just to make the whole idea of the A38 sound interesting, a green metal hut beneath a stand of fir trees, bearing the legend

EMERGENCY SIGN STORE.

Being, at the time I spotted this hut, trapped on the coach to Exeter, I was forced to ponder what this meant. Is it



a) a store, as in workshop/shop, where signs are made to order for any emergency - as in

"Here Nige, there`s been a stampede of giant frogs in Ashburton - knock us up a sign can yer?"



b) an emergency sign store, as in a store for signs IN an emergency, such as when Nige has lost the keys to the everyday sign store, or



c) a store for emergency signs



From the three options above, I have to say I find c) the least likely.



Today there was a delightful story in The Herald - "It`s hair today for a model citizen", which tells us lucky Herald readers how Mecia (Misha? Misprint of Mercia? eh?), winner of `Britain`s Next Top Model` on Living TV, will only trust her mum to do her hair, which is okay as her mum is a hairdresser. Quote: " The competition rocketed her into the national limelight, after she beat thousands of other entrants, and appeared each week being put through a series of fashion-orientated ordeals." Now I dont know about you, but I`m having a hard time imagining what a fashion-orientated ordeal might be, unless it`s being forced to wear (a shorter version of) the latest addition to Fiona Bruce`s wardrobe. Feel free to enlighten me, please.