The past few weeks I have found myself saving (making note of, writing down,)`creative spellings`. The best sources are Gumtree (private ads), and the Plymouth Herald discussion boards online. When I say best, you`ll have to enter my world for a moment, if you please.
Here are the Top 3 from the past week:
Exeserys -
Neckless - (for sale, so you have the right context)
and the crowning glory - Crionfion, or Crhythaim, as two very very overly-excited spellings of the same word. These appeared on a web debate about the dismantling of the diving platform on the Hoe seafront. I`ll leave you with these, and see how you fare.
The platform`s disappearance from the Hoe front is a bit upsetting. I liked to stand there watching the boys leap into the air - an act of freedom and defiance plus a whole lot of adrenalin-filled fun, I imagine. Apparently even if the city council were to place a huge board on the platform declaring
USE AT YOUR OWN RISK
this would not absolve them from legal responsibility for any broken bones ... What a bloomin` shame. So the on-line debate moved to and fro between the angry boys and supporters of the`deskbangers`, as one platform jumper neatly summed up the grey men, a clan to which he hoped never ever in his as yet dim and distant (o just scrap the distant) adult days to belong.
The main concern now the platform has gorn ? The boys will jump from other places even more dangerous. They wont stop jumping just `cos the board`s not there. And they wont. I`ve seen `em fly over my head off the top of the Mayflower Steps, which shocked me for several reasons, the most obvious being I wasn`t expecting to see flying boys over my head anywhere ever, apart from maybe in drug-addled reveries which I have yet to experience. So, being a flying boy virgin, it unnerved me as they plummetted over the side of what appeared to be a wide set of jutting stone steps into fairly shallow water, dropping at an awkward angle which could very easily be misjudged. Ouch.
Consider what`s wrong with this sentence :
When the boys line up and jump off the platform, people applaud; it`s exciting!
Yeah, it`s present tense. Darn. No more leaping and whooping and showing off to the girls. No more naughty boy blood-rush. Okay, it`s dangerous if you jump when the tide`s a bit low. Most people didn`t do this. Boys have been jumping off that platform for seventy-odd years. Big big sighhhh.
So now it`s gone, the jumpers will be looking to prove they can`t be stopped, and where will they jump from? Ah yes! The Crionfion! The Chrysanthemum! The Crumhorn! I mean the Crinthayn, Corbethine, Corblimeyguvnorian, the wall wot is at the side of that posh place ware the boats go out of; the yot club wot is yclepped The CORINTHIAN. Strueth!
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